I’m going to say it: I have never liked Harry Potter! I know, I know; you’re thinking to yourself: “…but Megan, you’re a mother of three beautiful, intelligent, sweet daughters and two hunky sons—and you’re looking great for it by the way—surely you appreciate what Harry Potter has done for young readers?”
SHE GIN PING
Thirsty for a taste of relaxing oppression? Our She Gin Ping is sure to satisfy that need. Made with a citrusy gin imported directly from the Forbidden City and the tears of Taiwanese children (organic), this beverage will help you become a calm-you-nist in no time. 16
Continue reading Mxnu“One day we’re gonna be minimalists. Like not minimalists but like normal people not encumbered by the amount of stuff we have.”
Pferdinand joined #isthiswholezinethingagiantcirclejerkquestionmark. Continue reading TBOTTSC: “Can it really be a circle jerk…”
Henrik Oaf Harvårson
“She unbuttoned my pants but I told her no. Instead, I threw her on the bed and entranced her, my tongue painting her body like Picasso’s brush…Only after she had come did I finally give her what she so desperately craved…” Continue reading TBOTTSC: “She unbuttoned my pants…”
Leo Nibrál
I’m worried that people will read thinq and think that it’s serious Continue reading TBOTTSC: “I’m worried that people will read thinq…”
A lot has changed since the coronavirus hit America. We met Dr. Anthony Fauci, America’s real life McDreamy and head of the C—wait, not the CDC? Is it the WHO? No—wait, what? We pulled out of the WHO?! Jesus…Well, it’s basically something like the CDC—and Dr. Deborah Birx, who’s spent months sending us all secret messages encoded in colorful scarves.
Continue reading Top 10 Surprisingly Unhelpful Ways to Fight COVID-19
A body-builder-wannabe Boomer walks into Caffe Latte, boasting of his recent travels across Europe and Asia as evidence of his immunity to COVID-19. Continue reading #Disspatch: Caffe Latte, 8 May 2020
Well, well, well, well, well. New Zealand may have successfully contained and subsequently eradicated their COVID-19 outbreak, but when it comes to their fast food, they’re still infected with the memories of their colonial masters.
